Gertie (The Permapup)

– A feature highlighting citizens of the Houston area.

Residence: Houston (Springfield native).

Birthday: Jan. 22.

Occupation: Columnist, Houston Herald (Houston, Mo.).

Family members: Twin brother Starfox (a.k.a. Starzy) of Springfield.

Favorite food: Ribeye steak. “I really like all kinds of meats and most kinds of other foods, but nothing beats the way a nice piece of ribeye tastes as I chew it up and how it feels as it slides over my baloney tongue and into my stomach. I’d have to say that pork chops are just about tied for No. 1. I could chomp pork chop bones every day and never get tired of it.”

Favorite ice cream flavor: Butter pecan. “You get the creamy goodness and a little nutty cruch.”

Least favorite food: Cucumber. “I don’t get it. Is that really a food?”

Two my favorite activities: Going for walks and eating. “Not necessarily in that order.”

Place I’d most like to visit: Buckingham Palace in London. “It’s the one place on Earth where Corgis are treated the way they should be – like royalty. I have to hand it to the British Royal Family, they know a good dog when they see one.”

Favorite musical acts: Snoop Dogg and Three Dog Night. “I’m not a big fan of Cat Stevens or the Stray Cats, though.”

Favorite movies: “Marley and Me” and “101 Dalmations.” “One makes me cry and one makes me laugh, but I could watch either of them over and over again.”

Favorite TV show: “Dog with a Blog” on the Disney Channel. “It’s pretty funny and I like it, even though I’m pretty sure they stole the idea from me. No really; I think they noticed what me and my human sidekick do and they made it into a show.”

Favorite zoo animal: Capybara. “They’re really cute – kind of like a cross between a woodchuck and an overgrown rat. I hear capybara burgers are popular in South America and really good. I’d like to try one someday.”

All-time favorite TV celebrity: Bob Barker.

Favorite sports teams: Georgia Bulldogs (NCAA), Minnesota Timberwolves (NBA), Arizona Coyotes (NHL). “Georgia’s mascot, Uga – that’s pronounced ‘ugga’ you know – is a superstar. There have been 10 Ugas since the first one in 1956. They’re all great role models.”

All-time favorite athlete: NBA basketball player Charles Barkley.

A memorable moment from my youth: “The first time my human partners took me on a kayak trip. It was on the Jacks Fork River, and I knew right away I had to do that many more times. Since then I’ve probably gone on about seven more float trips. I love falling in the water in pupose, swimming to the shore and then getting back in the boat.”

Favorite holidays: National Corgi Day (April 20) and National Pork Chop Day (Aug. 27). “I think there should be an official National Corgi Eating a Pork Chop Day. Just sayin’.”

Favorite tree: “I like them all. As long as dogs have access to them for, well, you know what for.”

Favorite school subject: History. “You know, there have been dozens of famous dogs over the years, like Apollo, who helped save lots of lives on Sept. 11 and Laika, the ‘Soviet space dog’ who was the first animal to orbit Earth.”

Least favorite school subject: English. “It involved a lot of writing, and that was hard for me. No thumbs, you know.”

A big pet peeve: “I can’t stand it when those Cardigan Welsh Corgis try to act as if they have anything to do with the British Royal Family. Everbody knows that Pembrokes are the Queen’s choice. As is should be.”

A surprising fact about me: “I like some cats. Only the ones that stay outdoors all the time. They’re OK, but the ones that go indoors are annoying. They think they’re special and they’re usually very arrogant.”

Just sayin’…

Regarding the challenges that come with being a female Pembroke Welsh Corgi in today’s society: “I don’t know what it’s like to be in a bad mood, and I feel like that riles a lot of people – and even dogs. It’s so popular these days to revel in someone else’s trials or struggles that when a happy-go-lucky Corgi like me comes along with a smile and virtually constant tail wagging, some folks actually find it aggravating. Not that I’ll ever stop being that way; like I said, I don’t know how to act other than happy and cheerful. Another challenge is that pork chop bones seem a lot less common than they once were. Way back when I was a puppy in 2012, they were easy to come by. Now, not so much. I think it’s a conspiracy among the world’s pork chop bone cartels.”

Things that would improve Houston: “Besides way more jobs for people and all that human stuff, Houston could use an animal shelter. There used to be a pretty good one, but now that it’s gone there’s nowhere for unwanted dogs to go to try to find a new family. And of course, Texas County is well know to be a place where dogs are often ‘dropped off’ on dirt roads and where spaying and neutering aren’t exactly standard procedure. Obviously, that means there are dogs without homes and puppies born into situations where they’re not really welcome. And a dog park wouldn’t hurt. Maybe one with automatic chew stick dispensers that can be operated by snout.”

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