All around the United States, there are strange and unusual laws that are still listed in the books of various towns, counties and even states.
Here’s another list of examples, because you never know when you might be in a position of needing to avoid violating one.
•In Alabama, it’s illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
As famous comedian and game show host Groucho Marx might have said from behind his epic ’stache, “why that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever hoid.”
•In Hollywood, Calif., it’s illegal to drive more than 2,000 sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
“But officer, I swear there are only 1,999.”
“Carry on.”
•Kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time in Alaska.
I just hope the same thing applies to moose, wolves and grizzlies.
•It’s illegal to use elephants to plow cotton fields in North Carolina.
That’s why you typically see rhinos or hippos doing it.
•It’s illegal to put ice cream on cherry pie in Kansas.
So I guess you just get it “on the side,” right?
•Rats are prohibited from leaving ships docked in Tampa Bay, Fla.
“Oh man, I just wanted to check out some stuff really quick. I promise I’ll be right back!”
•In Marlboro, Mass., it’s illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun.
Not even with a permit? Man, that’s tough.
•In Marion, Ohio, you cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.
That’s why you typically see people eating a cinnamon roll or bagel as they walk backwards on a city street.
•In Sterling, Colo., cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.
And dogs must have headlights and turn signals.
•It’s illegal in Georgia to use profanity in the presence of a corpse.
But living people? Have at it all you want.
•Swearing at someone over the phone in Virginia is punishable by a $100 fine.
I’m guessing there’s no such fine in Georgia.
•In Chicago, it’s illegal to take a French poodle to the opera.
But your Corgi or Cocker are entirely welcome.
•You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street in Las Cruces, N.M.
So make sure to consult a map to find an alternate route.
•It’s illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette in South Bend, Ind.
“But officer, Bosco enjoys a smoke now and then and doesn’t need to be forced.”
“Carry on.”
•In Ridley Park, Penn., you can’t walk backwards while eating peanuts in front of the Barnstormers Auditorium during a performance.
That’s why you typically see people eating popcorn as they walk backwards in front of the Barnstormers Auditorium during a performance.
•It’s illegal to eat in a place that’s on fire in Illinois.
Here’s to hoping it’s also illegal to set a place on fire where people are eating.
•Mourners at a wake in Louisiana may not eat more than three sandwiches.
“But officer, before this Reuben, all I had was a BLT and a pastrami on rye.”
“Carry on.”
•In Florida, unmarried women are prohibited from parachuting on Sunday.
That’s why parachuting companies hire extra pilots to work Saturdays.
•In Honolulu, Hawaii, it’s unlawful to annoy any bird within the boundaries of any public park.
“But officer, that gull is a liar! I was only complimenting its color!”
•In North Dakota, it’s illegal to keep an elk in a sandbox in your backyard.
That’s why you typically see deer or antelope in backyard sandboxes in the Peace Garden State.
•In Houston, Mo., it’s illegal to walk around in a store wearing pajama bottoms.
Don’t worry, I made that one up. You’re safe.
Doug Davison is a writer, photographer and newsroom assistant for the Houston Herald. Email: ddavison@houstonherald.com.