I didn’t know about it until a few days after it had passed, but Monday, March 3, was “National If Pets Had Thumbs Day.”
That’s a concept I’ve pondered many times, and I’m glad to know I’m not alone – and that there’s even a day dedicated to the notion.
Of course, most pet owners consider them family members. And why not? They love being part of our lives and we love having them around. They make us laugh and cry, and have vastly different personalities, just like we do.
And man, they understand a lot about what goes on around them. I’m convinced they’re far more intelligent than they’re often given credit for (and perhaps smarter than some humans, for that matter).
But what if a dog had thumbs?
I’m pretty sure Scotty (The Scottie) and most of his canine cohorts would certainly use the added ability in capacities related to food. Think about it: They could open the pantry door and get themselves a snack. They could pop the top off a can or use the scoop in the dog food bag to fill their own bowl.
But it stands to reason that dogs could do much more with thumbs than just feed themselves.
I can envision Scotty arranging his blanket on the bed by himself, rolling down the electric window in the back seat of the truck, putting his own collar on, brushing his own hair and maybe even learning to fold laundry,
And imagine dogs playing “fetch” by themselves. I’d be happy to set up a lawn chair and watch Scotty throw a ball and then chase after it. How cool would that be?
And what about cats?
I’m pretty sure they would also use thumbs to access food, but I believe they would find some other very creative applications as well.
I think Andie (who as we now know is a girl) would open and shut the door to her “room” (a travel crate she sleeps in every night), arrange the pillows and blankets on the front porch swing she enjoys so much and properly dispose of her “trophies” after she shows them to us (in the form of dead mice or other critters).
And one thing she could do that would be really, really cool is hang out on the couch with my wife Wendy and I and play with Wendy’s hair (she already does the hanging out part, but Wendy loves to have fingers run through her hair and it would be hilarious Andie could join in on that).
Back in the days when my family’s two Corgis – Jamie and Gertie (The Permapup) – helped produce columns for the Herald, they each often reminded me of how they were unable to do this or that because “I got no thumbs.”
Recalling Jamie’s absolute love for food and his almost omnivorous behavior (the only thing he wouldn’t eat was dill pickles), he probably would have primarily utilized the opportunity in a food-related manner. But Gertie, on the other hand, was a huge fan of swimming in and taking float trips on Ozarks rivers (nothing got her more excited than arriving at a put-in spot at the river), and she would surely have learned to paddle a kayak on her own.
I can just imagine her making her way down the Big Piney or the Jacks Fork.
“I’m going to pull over at that gravel bar and take a dip. You can keep going if you want; I’ll catch up.”
Anyway, when National If Pets Had Thumbs Day was created isn’t easy to determine, because different online sources present varying timelines, including 1995 and “early 2000s.” But that’s not all that relevant; it exists and offers a light-hearted and humorous way of looking a bit differently at our four-legged family members.
A last thing to ponder: I wonder if dogs and cats ever wonder what humans would be like if they had four legs?
Doug Davison is a writer, photographer and newsroom assistant for the Houston Herald. Email: ddavison@houstonherald.com.
