Generation X children have been called the generation of the “latchkey kids.”
The term refers to a child who returns from school to an empty home because their parents are away at work or because they are living in a single parent home. Latchkey kids surged from the 1970s to the early 1990s as a result of economic changes, where two incomes were required to get by, and societal changes, where the divorce rate increased and created more single parent homes.
“Now the generation of latchkey kids are parents themselves,” said Janice Emery, regional youth development specialist with the University of Missouri Extension. “Many generation X’ers over-compensate for their latchkey upbringing by being a ‘helicopter parent.'”
A helicopter parent is a parent who pays extremely close attention to their child’s experiences and problems. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover overhead.
“As parents, it is important to find the middle ground between these parenting styles and balance protecting children, and making sure they grow into responsible adults,” Emery said. “Parents have to keep in mind that parenting success is not measured by how much a parent does for their child, but rather how much they teach them to do on their own.
“It is not always easy, but raising kids who can handle the tough stuff life hands them as adults will make them, and society at large, better off.
A tip for parents trying to strike the right balance between latchkey parenting and helicopter parenting is to accept that your child may not be the person you had planned, and that is OK.
“Whether less academically successful than you thought, or maybe not the athlete you expected, children need to know they are loved for who they are and not that they are only loved when they meet the specific expectations parents set for them,” Emery said.
Another tip is to slow down and take a deep breath. With the expectations and busy schedules of parents, finding time to enjoy being a parent is not always easy.
“No one looks back on their life and says they regret spending too much time with their family,” Emery said. “In the age of instant access and technology, kids still need parents to listen to them and spend quality-parenting time with them each day without their devices or other distractions.”
In slowing down, Emery said, you will appreciate the simple moments you have with your children. Some people refer to these moments as “inch-stones” rather than milestones, because so often parents are caught up in how children are currently progressing that they do not take time to look back and be grateful for what they have already learned to do.
Emery, who oversees 4-H operations in Texas County, said 4-H can help.
“4-H offers parents and children opportunities to bond, share interests, and learn new skills,” she said. “4-H members are also more likely to grow up to be civilly responsible adults.”
For more information about joining 4-H, contact call Emery at the MU Extension office in Houston at 417-967-4545.