Whether you like comedian Jeff Foxworthy or not, you have to admit, his iconic “you might be a redneck” routines are very funny.
In Mr. Foxworthy’s honor, here’s another set of reasons “you might be from the Ozarks.”
If you’ve ever turned on the heat and air conditioning in your car on the same day, you might be from the Ozarks.
If you’ve ever eaten walleye, venison and a Big Mac on the same weekend, you might be from the Ozarks.
If your dog has ever eaten walleye, venison and a Big Mac on the same weekend, you might be from the Ozarks.
If you have gone fishing, swimming and paddling in the same river, you might be from the Ozarks.
If there is a tall pole on your property with a very bright security light on it, but you typically don’t lock the doors to your house, you might be from the Ozarks.
If the schools in your home town close for a week during deer hunting season, you might be from the Ozarks.
If while you’re driving, you often wave at people as they pass by in the opposite direction, and you’ve worked on and perfected your own personal waving technique, you might be from the Ozarks.
If you’ve ever had a piece of hay stuck way up under one of your fingernails, you might be from the Ozarks.
If employees of your local Lowe’s or Home Depot know your dog’s name and your dog gets excited to see them, you might be from the Ozarks.
If you’ve ever walked to your mailbox wearing a thick jacket, knit cap, gloves and flip-flops, you might be from the Ozarks.
If you have ever ripped a sleeve on the middle strand of a barbed wire fence, you might be from the Ozarks.
If your child rides the bus for more than an hour to get to school and then again to get home, you might be from the Ozarks.
If you enjoy attending outdoor auctions on sunny Saturday afternoons in the spring, summer and fall, but you go with no intention of buying anything and instead just plan to chat with friends and acquaintances, you might be from the Ozarks.
If your dog has ever chased a deer away from your garden, you might be from the Ozarks.
If you can precisely recite the Second Amendment, but the only other words you know from the Constitution of the United States are “we the people,” you might be from the Ozarks.
If you don’t have a toilet with flowers growing out of it in your front yard because you want to be different than several of your neighbors, you might be from the Ozarks.
If you have ever gone online to look up what the daily limit is during squirrel hunting season, you might be from the Ozarks.
If you have a “rock garden” in your yard made of a collection you’ve compiled while traveling, you might be from the Ozarks.
If you go the county fair every year just to look at the animals and eat greasy food, you might be from the Ozarks.
If you say you’re “going to the city,” and the place you’re referring to has a population of only about 15,000 and doesn’t have a mall, but does have a free-standing JC Penney store and a Burger King, you might be from the Ozarks.
If you watch “The Voice” just to root for the country singers, you might be from the Ozarks.
If you think the Ozarks is a great place to live, work and take part in lots of outdoor activities, and you think the people there are generally great to be around, you might be from the Ozarks.