Many of the “collective nouns” used to refer to groups of animals are – to say the least – odd, and some are even outlandish.
But they’re also kind of cool in a weird sort of way. Here are some more examples.
•A singular of boars.
This is perhaps as dumb as these monikers get. Calling a group of anything a “singular” is a straight up contradiction.
But maybe the Grand Poohbah of Boarland wanted it that way. Oh, those crafty boars.
•A swarm of eels.
I’ve seen video of a whole bunch of electric eels sharing a small amount of water when their normal habitat had been reduced by drought.
That’s something I never, ever want to see in person!
•An ambush of tigers.
I’d say it wouldn’t be good to get ambushed by an ambush of these big cats.
I’m pretty sure tiger ambushes don’t lose many ambushes.
•A hoard of gerbils.
You might start with only two, but you might as well get ready for a hoard, because that’s what you’re probably going to end up with.
•A business of ferrets.
Have you ever watched these things for a while?
I don’t know if they’re ever not busy, so the name fits pretty nicely.
•A bloat of hippopotamuses.
And no, the preferred plural version of the word isn’t hippopotami. Of course, just “hippos” might be better yet.
But those are indeed some pretty bloaty-looking animals, you know?
•A stand of flamingos.
This is one of those that’s not at all hard to accept.
I suppose if I had been the guy commissioned by mankind to name groups of animals, and I saw a bunch of flamingos doing that standing-on-one-leg thing they’re so well known for, I may well have come up with this as well.
•A band of gorillas.
I’d love to attend a gorilla concert.
“Thank you, Houston! We’re the Slaying Silverbacks, and we have Winston on guitar, Magilla on bass and Kong on drums! And I’m Koko, your singing ape tonight and every night!”
•A shiver of sharks.
I imagine being in close proximity with multiple sharks would make just about anyone get a bad case of the shivers.
Heck, being next to one would probably do it, for that matter.
So why not?
•A tower of giraffes.
Again, some of these animal groups more or less name themselves.
At very least, the naming guy doesn’t always have to work very hard.
•An unkindness of ravens.
Listen here you lousy birds: The fact that a group of you is labeled this way really says something about your character.
Maybe you should revisit your policies and rethink a few things.
•A conspiracy of lemurs.
Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always thought these animals with their big, beady eyes look suspicious and were somehow up to no good.
So I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re conspiring to conduct some sort of clandestine operation on their native island of Madagascar.
•A group of guinea pigs.
Really? All you can come up with is “group?”
Boooorrrring.
•A labor of moles.
All I can think of is all the labor I’ve put in over the years trying to make sure these ugly, annoying subterranean mammals don’t have their way in the lawn or garden, so I get it.
Anyway, we humans have far more words to use to refer to a group of us, like crowd, bunch, gathering, mob, gang, team, congregation and more.
Of course, we could just hang with “group,” but then we’re just like the guinea pigs.
But I guess that’s better than being like lemmings, you know?
Doug Davison is a writer, photographer and newsroom assistant for the Houston Herald. Email: ddavison@houstonherald.com.
