Suggestions to help avoid felonies

I think it’s safe to say that most people who are charged with felony offenses don’t entirely think matters through before committing those offenses.

As a public service, here are a handful of suggestions of ways to potentially avoid being charged with a felony.

If there is an active warrant for your arrest, don’t call law enforcement because you heard on odd sound outside your residence. You must understand that the officer who arrives will obtain your identification and run a computer check on it.

If and when you do call for law enforcement, make sure to hide the glass meth-smoking device rather than leaving it in plain sight on an end table. That will make it harder for an officer to observe it and ask questions about it.

If and when you do make contact with an officer, try to refrain from calling him or her a “blanking blankety-blank.” Although it might feel good at the moment, that pretty much never helps your situation.

Also, if you make contact with a law enforcement officer, do what you can to prevent your fist from making contact with said officer’s face. He or she will appreciate that, and it could have a positive effect on your situation.

Although it could make you feel irritated, try hard to curb your anger when your spouse or roommate smokes the last cigarette or consumes the last Oreo cookie. Lashing out – especially with hands and/or fists – could lead to an undesired engagement with a law enforcement officer.

If you’re a man and your wife or girlfriend does something that aggravates you, consider not punching her in the face. That will help prevent a law enforcement officer from becoming aggravated with you.

If you’re a woman and your husband or boyfriend does something that aggravates you, consider not bashing his truck’s windows with a brick or blunt, heavy object. The result of your restraint could be sort of a non-result, while non-restraint could result in something substantially more.

When a law enforcement officer comes to your residence to investigate something you’re involved in, consider not running away into the nearby woods. If you do make the decision to flee, make sure you’re prepared to remain fled for an extended period, because said officer will more than likely look for you, probably with help from several cohorts.

If you absolutely must drive somewhere in a vehicle with an inoperable headlight or taillight, consider leaving your meth or fentanyl at home. You see, a law enforcement officer may decide to pull you over to share information about the inoperable lighting, and if there’s meth or fentanyl in the vicinity, there’s a strong chance it will somehow end up being noticed.

If you’re being questioned by a law enforcement officer, consider not providing false information of any kind regarding your identity or details of the incident being investigated. Should the officer discover the falsehood, the potential exists for your circumstances to deteriorate.

When you find yourself in a disagreement with a neighbor or acquaintance, try to avoid firing a gun in their direction (even if you fully intend no harm). That way an investigating officer won’t ask you anything about gunfire and human proximity.

If you have a prior conviction for a felony offense, make sure to hide your pistol and rifle if you call for a law enforcement officer to respond to your neighbor’s alleged abuse of your dogs. That way the officer won’t ask you any questions about the firearms that you’re not supposed to have.

Anyway, the bottom line is that a relatively small amount of forethought could prove valuable when it comes to avoiding a felony charge. Yes, that requires focusing and actually utilizing some brain power, but the benefits could indeed be very real.

Doug Davison is a writer, photographer and newsroom assistant for the Houston Herald. Email: ddavison@houstonherald.com.